Are you in charge of your house or is your jury still out?

(Hubbies, Men of God, Can we talk?” series Pt3)

Being the “head of the household” has taken on a multitude of meanings to all who hear the phrase. Views from all aspects of life have pressed the air waves and other points of communication to inspire their particular focus on the importance of what it means to be the “Head.” Often we find our views limited in development and lost in a foundation of family dysfunction because limited views boil down to fragile secular basics of the Alfa Male. This results into statements such as “because I wear the pants in this family” or “because I said so, that’s why.” I’m trying to remember the part of the scripture that tells me wearing pants has something to do with what God meant.

 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Eph 5:22-24

Men of God, I don’t care who you are, right now you should be saying “Brother that’s some good reading scripture right there!” Yep that’s why I’m the head and that’s exactly how I should be treated, that’s about as clear as you can make it.

Before we can start our victory dance all through the house, let’s make sure we understand the message that is written within the text for us. This passage is written as an instruction for wives, and should be out of knowledge for husbands. It’s like we’re the Captain on a plane, although we have a Copilot on board who is well able to fly and land the air craft, the overall responsibility, and decision made for that flight falls on the Captain. Now you might be asking “What does that have to do with Eph 5:22?”

Let’s view the next verse and see what we can find out.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.” Eph. 5:25-28

If we meditate on this passage it will help us to see that (Eph. 5:22-24) a phrase that starts out talking to wives needs to have the understanding of husbands in order for wives to get the full measure of its meaning.  

Men we are quick to say that we’re protectors and we’ll give our lives for our loved ones and we believe this fulfills the essence of this scripture, Jesus gave His life and I’m willing to give mine. We tend to think “well that’s my part, now she needs to do hers.

But have we really done what the instruction tells us to, or did we take the easy way out? There’s nothing that says “husband get up on the cross,” but what it does say is;

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

We look at "gave Himself up for her to make her holy” and we’re finished because we think that speaks of the cross, but if we keep reading the justifier is in the next segment of the passage which points out a behavioral life style which we must seek to obtain.

“cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,”

You can’t wash something clean if you don’t understand the principles of washing, you can’t place a white T-Shirt in with blue jeans in hot water if your goal is to come out with a bright white T-Shirt at the completion of the cycle. In order for us to provide a washing with water through the word, we have to knowledge of that word and submit to it ourselves first! Not just for the ability to spout passages to show how wise we are in study, but in our living and the way we treat our wives.

Think of it this way: our lesson to our wives on how to submit should come directly from their view of us submitting to God and the word should then validate what they’re seeing as being God ordained.

In other words my brothers, it’s easier to do things that you see going on around you, it’s easier for me to submit when I see true submission. God doesn’t want us to die for our wives, (Christ already took care of that part) He wants us to be examples of how to live. We are to submit to Him and study His word, seek understanding and clarity that we may be a living example to our wives how to submit to us, this empowers us to provide a cleansing for her that will be received by the washing with water through the word.

Here’s the icing on the cake! Jesus did this for the church, and scripture is tells us we should do this for our wives so the return is one and the same. Picture this with heavenly eyes, as far as you dare let your mind take you, the same thing that Christ got back from His bride God is offering you back for yours.

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

To present her back yourself as a radiant vessel of holiness, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless, your wife, your help meet, your gift from the Master, unequaled by any other living thing in your eye, your submission to God’s will, her submission to you and Gods perfect plan of the ministry of marriage displayed to the world.

That’s a powerful picture that the Master has painted for us, one of a perfected relationship that can only be obtain through His path. Now it’s once again time for a review of who we are, ask yourself, “are you the Head of your house, or is your jury still out?”

This is a place where we can be a blessing to each other, let’s share because it’s true “Iron sharpens Iron.”

“Go out today and feed some sheep”

“How to turn your wife into a vision of loveliness!”

Welcome, as we continue with what I believe to be our “Hubbies, Men of God, Can we talk?” series. Today let’s chat about the beauty of a woman.

Kingdoms have been won and lost over a beautiful woman, David became a murderer for the love of Bathsheba, Samson lost both his blessing and his life for a woman named Delilah, and even Abraham lied to two different kings claiming Sarah to be his sister so that they wouldn’t kill him to take her. Men have been captivated by the beauty of women since the beginning of time, scripture points out how the Sons of God (Nephilim) saw the beauty in the daughters of man, married them and had children by them.

If the angels had difficulty staying away from the daughters of man, what hope have we married men? It becomes even more challenging for us because we have a habit of professing marital death out of our mouths. We say things like “I’m just window shopping, but I’m not buying nothing!” But we’re playing with temptation. A wise man once said “If you hang around the barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get a haircut!”

What can we do to help us through this?

“In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.”  Jn 16;23

Yes prayer is the answer; however I’ve found that the key to that answer is the “Whatever you ask” portion. Asking for the right thing for your spirit, you see I use to ask that I remain strong which meant the answer laid on me. Not good since it was one of my weakest points and the enemy knew how to send just what I liked, the way I liked it and at my weakest point.

Petitioning for the right thing allowed me to learn a great lesson, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!” Yes it’s true, take a moment and give it some thought, how many times have you looked at couples and wondered how they ended up together? Take my wife for example, when we first met I never gave her much thought, as a matter of fact she was not what I felt to be my type. But then one night at a friend’s church during Worshiping, while crying and worshiping I open my eyes and felt the Holy Spirit say “Meet your wife!” She was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen, beautiful brown eyes wrapped in a spirit loveliness that had me wondering why God picked me to bless.

So what do I pray for to help me stay focused? Something I read in Proverbs 5:18-19

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

I pray that I remain intoxicated with her love, and for all other woman to pale by comparison in my eyes to her beauty, to let the richness of her spirit wash over me as it did that day when the Holy Spirit introduced us, and the sweetness of her touch provide me comfort. These are the things I needed God to bless me with so I wouldn’t have to think about it when the enemy tries to tempt me, God has placed my spirit on autopilot!

The real joy is when I look across the room and say to myself “My, my, my she is so fine!” Thank you Lord. Her smile still makes me blush and I lose my train of thought, bless you Lord. Her touch across my brow takes away my breath and all my tension, Hallelujah!

So my brothers if you want a Holy Ghost make over for your wives that will turn them into visions of loveliness, ask God to change how you receive them because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Don't forget to join us Monday for the next part of this series, "Being the Head"

“Go out and feed some sheep today!”

Hubbies, Men of God, Can we talk?

Men of God can we get real for a few, I mean really kick back and be honest. Just take off the “front, the cover” for a few and kick it like it’s supposed to be?

We’re bustin our humps trying to make a living and worrying about everything under the sun, tired, worn out, and still thinking we need to work harder. But the crazy thing is, what we’re working hardest for is passing us by. Our wives and children are the focus of our lives, or at least that’s what we’d like to believe.

The first thought that comes to mind is “I want the best for them!” But how can they have the best without you? How can she have the best without you? Do you really think she married you for your money? Think about it, when you were dating and sending your representative out to meet her, (You know the real you was still in hiding!) He was listening to her conversation, laughing at her humor, finding similar things to be interested in, sharing his wisdom and encouraging her endeavors.

Now you barley get time to cuddle and giggle together. Even our ministries get in the way, we’re so gung ho for God that everybody else’s crisis comes before our own family. We've even convinced ourselves that it’s an act of selflessness to sacrifice for others, yeah I know what you’re thinking, but that does not apply to our families.

“Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” I Tim. 3:1-5

God meant leadership for those who are married to begin in the home. Your first ministry is to God, your second is to your wife, third to your children and then you can go into the outer most. The mina (Talent or Gift) the master gave you is you wife. There are things in her past that only you can speak to, things that no one else can reach. You can provide healing to places that others will never see because your marriage is your primary ministry.

“Then another servant came and said, ‘Sir, here is your mina; I have kept it laid away in a piece of cloth. I was afraid of you, because you are a hard man. You take out what you did not put in and reap what you did not sow. His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant!” Lk. 19:20-23

The Christian Husbands basic litmus test, have I laid her up in cloth trying to fulfill her with worldly things and providing no spiritual increase or elevation as a result of this union, or have I showered her with the love of God the patience, spiritual understanding, kindness of statement and shared the understanding of God's Word while seeking our growth together?

Come men let’s kick it, share a word on this, and maybe even help a brother who may be having a difficult time in his marriage, or help someone avoid one.

Tomorrow’s topic; “How to turn you wife into a vision of loveless!”

“Go out and feed some sheep today!”